Episode Transcript
Heinous Investigations
Episode 5: Ghostfish! (Part I)
(On a dark, blustery night in an old, eerie-looking house on the outskirts of Hanesbury, Carlton, Miriam, Algernon, and Orville are trying their best to live up to the “Heinous Investigations” name.)
Carlton (voiceover.): Hanesbury. A small town that just got itself a new private investigating team. But we don’t investigate just anything. Nah, that’d mean that my life would still make sense. Now I’m too busy doing whatever this is…
Algy: So what exactly are we looking for here?
Miriam: Anonymous tip said the spirit of some girl has been terrorizing anybody who comes near this old house. Died under mysterious circumstances here, or something. You know, usual ghost thing.
Algy: Uh, hold on a sec. Nobody said anything about a ghost.
Miriam: Our team investigates paranormal stuff. You seriously didn’t think we’d run into the thing that literally everybody in the world associates with the paranormal?
Algy: Hey, I was fine with the secret underground treasure, even with the criminals trying to kill us and the ancient shark, but I’m not gonna be proof that gho—those things I’m not going to talk about in case they’re listening—can actually murder people. It was nice knowing you. I’m out.
Miriam: Nice try, but you’re not ditching us. Why don’t you make yourself useful and check out the rest of the house? You can get in and out of those rooms fast enough.
Algy: Uh, but what if the gh—you know—doesn’t operate on normal time, or whatever? You know, like what if it’s faster than me? We don’t know how this stuff works.
Carlton: It’s not gonna be faster than you because it doesn’t exist. Ghosts aren’t real.
Miriam: Of course you’d say that. You don’t believe in anything. And the ghost is a she not an it. It’s the twenty-first century. Have some respect for women.
Carlton: I believe in plenty of things. Like how there is no she, because there is no ghost. The only reason I came all the way out here to the edge of town is because this is the job I signed up for, because I literally had no other options.
(A loud “creak!” from somewhere deep in the house. Algy cowers. “Thwip!”)
Algy: Agh! It’s her! You’ve pissed her off with all your non-believer talk!
Carlton: Or, we’re in an old house that hasn’t had anybody living in it for over fifty years. And get out from behind me!
Miriam: Hey, Orville, why don’t you try to talk to her? You’re creepy. Maybe she’ll relate to you.
Orville: Please don’t call me creepy. And I’m going to look around upstairs.
Carlton: Good idea. Can you get up there? Stairs look busted.
Orville: I can levitate people. I count as a person.
Carlton: Oh yeah. Right. Tell me if you find anything...even though you probably won’t.
(Orville floats his way up to the second floor.)
Carlton: Bet you the only scary thing he sees up there is on the other side of a mirror. [*laughs*]
Orville: I can still hear you. And I’m still not creepy.
(Shutters slam against the side of the house.)
Algy: Sounds like the ghost is taking Orville’s side.
Carlton: Oh my god, there is no ghost.
Miriam: Maybe there is and the only reason she hasn’t come out is because one of us doesn’t believe in her.
Carlton: Fine. If you really think I’m the problem, I’ll bite. What’s this chick’s story?
Miriam: Algernon has the paper where Frank wrote down the case. He can tell you.
(Algy digs the crumpled paper out of his pocket.)
Algy: Ok hold on. I know I have it in here somewhere.
Carlton: Wait, Frankenstein took the case down?
Miriam: He was the only one who could get to the phone.
Algy: Got it. Says her name was Jemima Dumas. She was the daughter of a wealthy family who lived here in the 1800s. She was loved by everyone in town...or at least that’s what her family thought before they came home one night and found her dead in the foyer…which is where we are right now.
(Another loud “creak!” Miriam, startled, fires a shotgun, hitting the ceiling.)
Carlton: Whoa! Did you seriously bring a shotgun for this!?!
Miriam: Yeah! Because there’s a—
Algy: GHOST!
(The wind picks up. Algernon runs, but crashes into the closed front door.)
Algy: Forgot to open the door.
Carlton: Good. Maybe that’ll teach you not to run out on us again.
Miriam: Uh, guys. Spooky shadow at the top of the stairs. And it’s moving toward us.
Carlton: Don’t shoot it.
Algy: Yes shoot it!
Carlton: No! There’s definitely a normal explanation for this.
Algy: No time for normal explanations, it’s getting closer!
Carlton: Fine, I’ll play the “leader” card! Don’t shoot, Prior! That’s an order, or whatever!
(A clap of thunder startles Miriam, and she throws a knife at the shadow.)
Carlton: Prior!
Miriam: What!?! I didn’t shoot!...And you didn’t say anything about knives!
Algy: It doesn’t look like it mattered anyway. Look.
(The knife has stopped midair.)
Miriam: Ha! See Carlton!?! Floating knife! GHOST!
Carlton: Yeah, it’s floating. Because that “ghost” is Orville.
(Carlton switches the lights on. Orville appears.)
Orville: I heard gunshots. I wanted to make sure that everyone was ok.
Carlton: Everybody’s fine. Just probably feeling real stupid.
Miriam: Hey, the lights were off and we saw a weird shadow in a house that’s supposed to be haunted. We’re not the only ones at fault here! I mean, why didn’t Orville say something—ok, I realize how dumb that question sounds as I’m saying it.
Carlton: Yeah, well, you have a point there. Orville, you might wanna get into the habit of at least talking when, you know, you have a gun about to be pointed at your face—
Orville: Note taken.
Carlton: But that still doesn’t excuse the total lack of judgment from our end. Algernon, just because you can book it out of here doesn’t mean you should. And Prior, just because we get called in to investigate the possibility of a ghost doesn’t mean that there is one. The last thing this team needs is more paranoia.
Miriam: They also don’t need a leader who’s afraid to believe in what he’s supposed to be investigating. I mean, what if, maybe not here, but somewhere, there really is a ghost, Jemima, who—
Carlton: Wait. What’d you say this girl’s name was?
Algy: Whoever called in said her name was Jemima Dumas, but people called her “Ima” for short.
Carlton: Let me see that paper for a sec.
(Algernon hands him the paper.)
Carlton: “Ima”, “Ima Du-mah”, “Ima Du-mass”, “Ima Dum”—“I’m a dumbass.” [*sigh*] That’s it. Frankenstein’s not allowed to take any more case calls. Let’s get out of here.
(Theme Music)
(Scene changes to the Henrickson house, aka Heinous Investigations HQ.)
Carlton: Last night was the third crank call this week, Marty. How are we supposed to help this town out if nobody here takes us seriously?
Martin: The people in this town have been used to ignoring anything even relatively out of the ordinary for years. It’s understandable that they’d treat anyone who wants to pry into the very phenomena they’ve been brushing off for all this time with some skepticism.
Carlton: This isn’t just skepticism. We’re goddamn pariahs. I went to clear out my desk at my old job, and nobody there would even look me in the eye—and I don’t mean just the people in the office. I mean everyone I walked past on my way in and out. I think some people actually crossed the street to avoid me.
Martin: It’s a small town, Mr. Carlton. It didn’t take anyone too long to figure out who exactly was part of this business, and with you being the one person involved who has been here for the least amount of time, you’re the most liable to suspicion—
Carlton: It’s not just me. Prior’s said business has gone down at her shop, and the kid got the boot from the library.
Elliot: Erm, actually—I’m sorry to interrupt, but I didn’t lose my position at the library. I resigned. Navigating the library here is enough of an engagement on its own. I was actually on my way to tell you both that I am working to organize the resources pertaining to our current business—investigating preternatural phenomena, and the like—so that we can hopefully better avoid future, erm, false inquiries. I’m sorry that I didn’t have the system finalized before you went out tonight, Mr. Carlton. I promise that I will have it done—
Carlton: Kid, it's ok. Just, take it down a notch with the apologizing. Somebody’s gotta bother to do the research around here.
Frank: I heard “research”! Hey ev’rybody! Just thought I’d come by to tell you I’m super close to finishing that secret project you gave me to work on, Marty. Just gotta get a few more parts from the shop in Oak Hollow…and maybe another set of hands? Specifically scientifically trained doctor hands? Huh, doc? Whaddya say?
Elliot: Mr. Epstein—
Frank: Frank!
Elliot: Pardon?
Frank: I told ya, buddy. “Mr. Epstein” sounds boring. Call me Frank, or “Frankenstein”, or “El Capitán,” or—
Carlton: Nobody is gonna call you that—
Frank: Never say never, boss man.
Elliot: Erm, Frank, I’m afraid that my scientific expertise is of a more theoretical nature, with the exception of medical procedures, but those aren’t necessarily applicable to—
Frank: If you can fix a broken leg, you can solder a joint. Come on!
Elliot: But I really don’t see how—gnk!
(Frank grabs Elliot and drags him down the hall toward the lab.)
Carlton: Look, Martin, I appreciate what you’re trying to do for this town, but the people you’re trying to help clearly don’t. I know we haven’t been at this long, but maybe it’s better to end things now, before we get in too deep.
Miriam: Hey, Carlton. We’ve got a visitor.
Carlton: Prior, whatever joker it is trying to mess with us now, I really don’t feel like dealing with it—
Miriam: Trust me, you’re going to want to hear this one. Hey Clay, why don’t you come over here and fill Mr. Carlton in on your situation?
(A man in waders and a cap comes in from around the corner.)
Clay: Hello, Mr. Carlton. I’m Clay, Clay Carter. I’m, uh...a fisherman here in town, and, uh…
Miriam: And?
Clay: And, I’m here to ask for your, your group’s help, because...well, us fisherman...we’ve got a problem...a ghost problem.
Miriam: Looks like another “possibility” of a ghost. Ready to eat your words?
(Cut to Frank’s lab, where he fumbles around as usual.)
Frank: Ok Elliot, buddy—So this thing here is called a drag. I’m gonna need you to fill it with this sand so I can flip the whole thing over and take out the pattern. Then, I can dig out a gate to feed in the molten metal through the runner I made in the cope, which I’ll put on top of the drag. That should get us a nice cast. Got it?
Elliot: So, in layman's terms I should put sand in the metal box.
Frank: Yeah, do that! See, I told ya you’d be a natural!
Elliot: We’ll see. I must admit, I do find the work that you do here to be incredibly fascinating. I’ve always admired engineering as a skill and a profession, and I wouldn’t mind learning more about it through some firsthand experience.
Frank: Heck yeah! It’s Dr. Elliot Quaid and Frankenstein, solving life’s great mysteries through the astounding power of science! [*laughs*] Nothing can stop us now!
(Enter Ginnie and Liza.)
Ginnie: Party’s over boys! Me and Liza are here to tell you we’ve got a ghost to track down!
Frank: Ooh! Finally a chance to test out my ghost trap! Looks like the top secret project will have to wait!
(He retrieves a device from a nearby safe.)
Frank: Oh yeah, here we go.
Elliot: I’m sorry, but is that a replica of the trap from the film Ghostbusters?
Frank: Duh, if you’re gonna make a ghost trap, how else are you supposed to make it look? Ok, I admit, mine works differently than theirs—there is such a thing as copyright law, ya know. Ooh, hold on—I’ve got more of these in a cabinet around here somewhere. Ginnie, can you help me grab ‘em?
Ginnie: Sure.
(They walk a short distance away.)
Liza: Ok, this trap thing is actually pretty cool. What do you think, Elliot?
Elliot: Yes, very pretty—erm, I—I mean, pretty “cool”—the trap, that is—not that you’re not c—psh, I mean, you must be if you like films like that...erm…
Ginnie: Yeesh, did you just see that?
Frank: Yeah...Elliot is clearly ill, and we’ve gotta save him—I’M COMIN’ LITTLE BUDDY!
Ginnie: Wait—
Frank: [*scream*]!
Ginnie: What are you—
(Frank rushes toward Elliot, tackling him to the ground.)
Elliot: Gagh! Gnk, ugh...Erm, Frank? Would you mind getting off of me? Please?
Frank: It’s for your own good buddy!
(Ginnie rushes over.)
Ginnie: Sorry Elliot! Frank just...thought he saw a spider on you. Right Frank?
Frank: No, I told you there’s something wrong with—
Ginnie: Hey, Liza! Why don’t you and Elliot go see if Carlton needs you both on this ghost hunting trip, ok?
Liza: Uh, ok. Oh, Elliot, here. Let me help you up.
Elliot: Oh, no, Miss Liza, that’s really quite alri—
Liza: Huph.
Elliot: Oh.
(She helps him up.)
Liza: See? No big deal. You ready to g—hey are you ok?
Elliot: Uh~hmm.
Liza: Great! Let’s go.
(She leads him out of the lab.)
Elliot: Erm…
Ginnie: Ok, what was that about?
Frank: What? How you totally stopped me from saving Elliot’s life back there?
Ginnie: But he’s not sick. Do you really not see it?
Frank: See what?
Ginnie: Oh my gosh. Ok, I’ve just gotta know. What exactly do you think is wrong with him?
Frank: I have two theories on that.
Ginnie: Which are...?
Frank: Ok, Theory One: a hitherto unknown strain of avian flu that is only contractible by those with supernatural ancestry has somehow made its way into Elliot’s brain—
Ginnie: Nope. Not it. Definitely not it.
Frank: No? Ok then, Theory Two: Dr. Quaid has been spending a little too much time around those medical chemicals—
Ginnie: It’s, uh, not that either.
Frank: Gas leak?
Ginnie: Oh my god, Frank—Elliot loves Liza!
Frank: What? No, that’s not it! He’s gotta be dying.
Ginnie: Really? Then how would you explain it?
Frank: B-but, he’s been all sweaty and flushed and kinda loopy and—Ohhhhh. No.
Ginnie: Yes.
Frank: No.
Ginnie: Yes, he’s loved her from the second he saw her.
Frank: No, no, no, no, no, no, nooooooo! He can’t be into her! I just got him to agree to be my science buddy! Relationships never work out good for scientists, ever! We’ve gotta stop this from happening!
Ginnie: Uh, no, we don’t. Yeah, it’s a little hard to watch sometimes, but it’s always better to let love happen!
Frank: NO! I WILL NOT LOSE THE ONLY OTHER KINDA SCIENTIFIC PERSON TO SHOW UP HERE IN YEARS! JUST GIVE ME A SEC TO GRAB MY OUTDOOR LAB COAT! I’M COMIN’ GHOST HUNTING!
(He rushes into a nearby closet, slamming the door behind him. Then, he opens it right back up.)
Frank: NOT MY COAT CLOSET! HOLD ON!
(He goes into another closet.)
Ginnie: Ooh, I hope Carlton and Miriam don’t get mad at me for this…
(Cut to Frankenstein driving like a fiend, with several fellow Investigators along for the ride.)
Carlton: Frankenstein! Think you could slow the van down for, I dunno, the rest of the ride so we don’t die!?!
Frankenstein: NO CAN DO, BOSS MAN! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! A GHOST EMERGENCY! AND WE DEFINITELY CAN’T WASTE ANY TIME WITH SAFETY!
Miriam: We’re coming up on the docks.
Carlton: You heard her, Frankenstein—Stop the van!
Frank: GOT IT! SLAMMING ON THE BRAKES!
Carlton: NO NO NO NO, WAIT!
(Frank slams the brakes. Everyone screams in fear for their lives…and then the van is parked.)
Carlton: Everybody ok? Prior?
Miriam: Fine. Just really itching to slap Frank upside the head.
Carlton: Understandable—how about you, kid? Liza? Orville? Ginnie?
Elliot: Door please!
Liza: Elliot, wait!
(Elliot opens the door and vomits.)
Orville: I think we’re ok.
Ginnie: Woo, what a rush! You know, Frank did such a great job driving, maybe we should let him stay here and watch the van!
Frank: Huh?
Carlton: Good idea Ginnie. And since you’re the one who brought him along in the first place, you can stay here with him.
Ginnie: Aw.
Carlton: The rest of you, let’s see what these fishermen have for us to check out.
(The rest of the group walks away.)
Frank: Hey, wait Carlton! Two people probably isn’t enough to watch one van! Why don’t you leave somebody else with us!?! I dunno, maybe Elliot!?! Hey! Carlton! HEY! DON’T LET HIM GET TOO CLOSE TO HER! CARLTON!
Ginnie: Frank, shh!
(The waves crash and buoy bells toll as the Investigators find Clay.)
Carlton: Hey, Clay. Thanks for letting us follow you back out here.
Clay: Yeah, well, we didn’t know who else to call. I mean, we already tried the cops, the fire department, the coast guard—
Carlton: You’d rather try to get the coast guard on this than call us?
Clay: Look, Mr. Carlton, we didn’t wanna call because, um, I think we were all scared to. Everybody around here really respects Martin Henrickson. He’s a good guy, so’re his parents. What I mean is, he’s done nothing but good for this town. So, we all kept our mouths shut when he came out with this business of yours. I mean, you hear about rich guys all having some weird thing they put their money into. We guessed, for him, it was this. But that didn’t mean we didn’t find the whole thing unsettling. We spent years learning to deal with everything that happens in Hanesbury. How do we know somebody sent out to look into it isn’t gonna make it worse?
Carlton: I don’t know. I think we’re still trying to figure that part out. But we’ll do what we can. So, what exactly is this ghost problem?
Miriam: Hold it, Carlton. Why don’t you let someone on this team who actually believes in ghosts ask the questions?
Clay: Wait, he’s in charge, but doesn’t believe in ghosts?
Miriam : Oh, uh, well, you see, he’s kinda the administrative guy—
Carlton: Yeah, like the one who keeps everything together—but, whoo, that supernatural stuff. I leave that up to my right hand woman here—
Miriam: Happy to help! But don’t worry, we’ll still get the job done.
(They both stammer awkwardly in the background.)
Orville: I think for our first real case call, this could be going better.
Liza: They just need some practice. Carlton and Miriam are good at their jobs...but I think their interpersonal skills need some work.
Orville: Agreed.
Miriam: Ok, so this ghost. Could you describe it?
Clay: Well it’s actually more like “ghosts”—as in, a lot of ‘em.
Miriam: What do you mean?
Clay: We, uh, didn’t really think it was anything at first. The first person who saw them was Kyle, and he has a tendency to—uh, ya know—he likes to have a few drinks every once in a while on his way back ashore at the end of the day.
Miriam: So this happened at night.
Clay: Yeah, it only happens at night, and out on the water. I think it’s because they’re afraid to come on land, even though they’re already dead, you know?
Carlton: Ok, you’ve lost me.
Miriam: Why would they be afraid of land?
Clay: Because…Because the ghosts...are fish.
Orville: What?
Clay: I know, it sounds crazy! We all thought Kyle was crazy too! Until it started happening to all of us!
Miriam: What started happening?
Clay: They all came in swarms, around all our boats. It started out as just damages that we had no clue how they got there—engine trouble, banged-up hulls, holes in trawls—
Carlton: Spst. What’s a trawl?
Elliot: A type of fishing net.
Carlton: Makes sense—how did you know that?
Elliot: When one spends enough time in libraries, one tends to learn things.
Clay: Point is, after a while we started to actually see them. All whispy and floaty and see-through, but definitely fish. We got to thinking, if a person who got murdered can come back as a ghost to haunt their killer—
Carlton: Or, y’know the killer was probably just guilty they murdered somebody.
Miriam: Shove it.
Clay: We thought, maybe the fish came back to haunt us. Make sure we can’t hurt anymore of their kind...Look, me and the rest of the guys down here don’t care what you have to do—even use some of our boats if you need—but, make it stop.
Miriam: You can count on us.
(More buoy bells as the Investigators make their way back to the van.)
Miriam: Sounds like a lot more ghosts than we thought, huh? How many of those ghost traps do you think we should grab from Frank?
Carlton: Why not all of ‘em? Won’t matter anyway.
Liza: I don’t know Carlton. Clay sounded pretty spooked. That seemed like a legit reaction if you ask me.
Carlton: Well, it’s already starting to get kinda late. So, we should grab whatever we’ve got now and get out on the water before sundown.
Elliot: Erm, may I ask, how are we going to make sure that this case isn’t just another spurious claim?
Carlton: Jack and Algernon are in the library with Martin back home. Sent them a recording of Clay’s statement. Hopefully, they’ll find something that confirms it before we end up wasting our time...Although, I’m already questioning the likelihood they’ll get anything done while they’re in the same room.
(Smash cut to Jack, Algernon, and Martin.)
Algy: I can’t believe Carlton benched me just because I ran away from something that could’ve killed me!
Jack: And left everyone else alone to possibly get killed!
Algy: I would’ve gone for help!
Jack: Before or after your panic attack!?!
Martin: Gentlemen, is this argument really necess—I mean, what’s done is d—can’t we just resolve things peacefully?
(Cut back to the main action.)
Carlton: Either way, looks like we’ve still got a pretty full group. We should probably split up on this one. Take two boats.
Miriam: Well I’m taking whichever boat you’re taking. I want to see the look on your face when you admit that ghosts are—
Carlton: Aren’t—
Miriam: Are real.
Liza: I’ll come with you. Mostly because I don’t like the idea of you two together out in open water.
Orville: Same.
Frank: Guess that just leaves me and Elliot? Right, Elliot old buddy, old pal?
Ginnie: Ahem.
Elliot: Erm, I suppose it does? Although, do you think I could possibly invite someone else to accompany—
Frank: Aw, I think Orville’s already set on going with Carlton’s crew, but if you really want to—
Elliot: Erm, that isn’t exactly the person that I had in mind—
Ginnie: Ahem.
Frank: Hey, it’ll be fun—hunting ghosts, making discoveries, discussing questionable life choices that could spell cataclysmic doom for our careers and emergent friendships—
Ginnie: AHEM!
Elliot: Erm, Ms. Kelly, are you alright? You seem to be clearing your throat rather persistently. I could examine it if you’d like.
Ginnie: No, I’m good…So good that I’m gonna come with you guys!
[Elliot: I don’t see why not.
Frank (same time): You say what now?]
Ginnie: Well, yeah. ‘Cause, you know. Looks like Carlton and Miriam’s boat is full, and like you said Frank. It’ll be fun.
Frank: B-but, we’re probably gonna be out super late! You sure you really wanna stay up all night?
Ginnie: Uh, I’m a vampire—creature of the night, and all that other stuff? I’m game. Looks like you’re gonna be stuck with me all night.
Elliot: My, you, erm, both seem to be taking this assignment very seriously.
Frank: Just know I’m ready to take out more than just ghosts.
Ginnie: Oh it is on.
Frank: You’re an evil mastermind.
Ginnie: Nope. Just in love with love!
Elliot: So...I’ll go start the boat then? Right.
(Thunder strikes and waves crash. Cut to Carlton and Miriam’s boat. Static as Carlton uses a radio.)
Carlton: This is Carlton, trying to contact the B Team. Does the B Team have its radio up and running? Over.
Elliot (via radio): Elliot here. Erm, do you think that you could possibly refrain from referring to our group as the “B Team?” Over.
Carlton: [*laughs*] Kid, I think you and I both know why I chose that name. Now can you guys keep a solid lookout and take notes on anything important we pick up? Over.
Elliot (via radio): Alright. Understood, Mr. Carlton. We shall remain vigilant. Over and Out.
(The radio cuts out. Carlton speaks to Miriam.)
Carlton: So, Prior, see anything with those binoculars? I thought ghosts were supposed to be invisible.
Miriam: Not always, Carlton. Not always...
Carlton: Right.
(He radios the other boat.)
Carlton: Hey kid, make a note that being isolated at sea may already be causing my first mate here to lose it. Hehe, over.
Miriam: What did you call me?
Elliot (via radio): If this is in any way part of a scheme to upset Ms. Prior, I would like to say, if I may, that I do not think it polite or wise to instigate—
(Miriam cuts the transmission off.)
Carlton: Hey, I was using that.
Miriam: I’m nobody’s “first mate”.
Carlton: Ok, ok. I guess you can’t take a joke.
Miriam: Hey, I can take a joke! I’m a fun person! Right Liza?
Liza: Oh, uh, gee, Miriam, uh...I haven’t really known you all that long, and I really don’t wanna—
Orville: You come off as harsh. But don’t worry, so does Carlton.
Miriam: Uh, I am not harsh! I’m the fun one! Come on! I’m the one who actually believes in ghosts!
(The boat starts to rock.)
Liza: The boat’s rocking!
Miriam: HA! SEE!?! GHOSTS!
Carlton: It’s a boat! Boats move!
Liza: Yeah, but this much and with no heavy wind or currents?
(A transmission comes through on the radio.)
Elliot (via radio): Mr. Carlton, is everything alright? From the look of your boat you appear to be in distress. Please, Come in, Mr. Carlton! Oh, erm—over—
Liza: Uh, Carlton can’t get to the radio right now.
Carlton: Batten down the hatches!
Miriam: There’s nothing in the hatches!
Carlton: Who cares!?! Just do it!
Liza: But I can tell you that we might need some help.
(Nothing but static on the other end of the radio.)
Liza: Uh, hello? Elliot?
Elliot (via radio): Eh—psh—ah—ts—I. I mean, of course we’ll—It’s, er—Let me just tell—erm—
Liza: Uh, are you ok?
Carlton: Goddamnit kid—Everybody hold on and try not to fall overboard!
Orville: Wasn’t planning on it.
(Carlton makes his way over to the radio.)
Carlton: D’oh. Oh, damn, ow, ow, ow. Ow. I’ll take that receiver, thanks. Kid, we’ll handle this. Just stay put until we need you, and for the love of god try not to embarrass yourself. Over and out.
(He ends the transmission. The boat stops rocking.)
Carlton: Huh. See? It’s already over. Now maybe we can get back to—
(And then the boat’s engine sputters out.)
Liza: Uh, Carlton?
Carlton: Yes Liza?
Liza: The engine stopped.
Carlton: Yup.
(The lights flicker and turn off.)
Carlton: And now the lights are out.
(Miriam uses the radio.)
Miriam: Dr. Quaid, seems like we have our first evidence of the ghost fish tampering with boats. We just lost the engine and lighting. Over.
Carlton: Prior, the power’s out. You’re not gonna reach—
Elliot (via radio): How exciting—I mean, the evidence of spectral activity, not the po—
Carlton: We get it kid. Over and Out.
(Ends transmission.)
Miriam: Huh. Looks like the radio’s on a different power source.
Carlton: (*sighs*) Sure it is. Now how about we try to fix the engine?
Miriam: You and Orville can fix the engine. Liza and I are going to check the rest of the boat for any more ghost damage.
Carlton: You know…Fine. We’ll be below deck if you need us. Let’s go, Orville.
(They go below deck. Miriam turns on a flashlight and has a look around.)
Miriam: Carlton may have only taken Frankenstein’s ghost traps on board after I forced him, but at least he was smart enough to make sure we had flashlights.
Liza: Hey, look at this.
(Miriam goes to Liza, who is looking at a fishing net.)
Miriam: This net’s been—
Liza: Torn apart. Just like Clay said.
Miriam: We should grab this. Show it to Carlton. Though, knowing him, he’ll probably say it got caught on something—which makes no sense, because the thing looks too mangled for that, but he probably won’t care anyw—
(Liza suddenly gets caught in the net.)
Liza: AAAH!
Miriam: What the—Liza! How’d you end up in the net?
Liza: I don’t know! It’s like something just threw it on me! Just help me get out!
Miriam: Yeah, ok. I can use my knife. So, make sure you watch out for—
Liza: [*screams*]!
Miriam: Ohhhh my god! Ok, ok, don’t freak out. It’s just your friend being dragged away in a net by an invisible force. It’s only a fishing boat. How far can she go? I’ve got this Liza! Hold on!
